Friday, September 21, 2007

Marhaban Ya Ramadhan

The past months were frantic to say the least - juggling work, arabic lessons, family, health, etc. Life has been good to me, Alhamdulillah!

And seeing Mr "I" and his gang doing volunteering work makes me wanna get more involved with volunteerism, Insya Allah. It seems to give him a sense of peace...

Of late, an acquaintance's home crumbled due to the earthquake at Padang, Sumatera. Upon hearing the news, I was 'paralysed' for a split second, "What if I was in his position, would I be strong enough to handle the situation?". My heart went out to him and upon further reflection, it dawned on me that God loves him enough to test him to such extent.

I shared the news with mum and what she said was worthwhile to note - sometimes we fail to see the merits underlying such 'seemingly bad situations'... do not question but embrace every moment as it comes as only the "All Knowing" knows what is best for you. Verdict: That acquaintance of mine is back... he looks calm - he's a good man and I'm confident he would be alright :)

Lastly, I'm thankful that Ramadhan has arrived, providing the opportunity to cleanse my soul yet again. May we benefit from it, Insya Allah!

Bulan Ramadhan - dimana nafas kita menjadi tasbih, tidur kita menjadi ibadah, amal kita diterima dan do'a kita di ijabah. Mata kadang salah melihat, mulut kadang salah berucap, hati kadang salah menduga... Maafkan segala kekhilafan yang pasti ada. Taqqobalahu Minna Waminkum, Taqoballahu Ya Karim

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Hellos & Goodbyes

Its been an interesting few months...

I've got to work with M again on our elearning project (he's the best!) and am enjoying myself at work again... its always exciting working with such great talent and insights to elearning, social networks, IA, etc... I learnt alot from this great man.

From one great man to another - bumped into my ex-NIE mate and we have since kept in touch... nice to know he's ready to settle down; thanks for sharing... the info will come in handy when my turn comes, Insya Allah!

My colleagues and my dive pals celebrated my birthday just last week and it was a good catch up session (its becoming a yearly ritual)... Unfortunately another pal could not join us as she bid farewell to her father-in-law who passed away the same week.

Goodbye (not literally though) to two great men - Ust Dr Ade Novli and Ust Ayhan and hello to Ust Saifudeen and Ust Abdul Halim... I especially like the teaching style of Ust Saifudeen - he is soft-spoken yet assertive when needed, systematic yet flexible and versatile... in short a good educator who cares about the welfare of his class... Keep up the good work please.... Yeah, sounds like I'm becoming a fan of his, right? All I can say is credit needs to be given where appropriate *grin*

21 August was the day I said goodbye to Miss Fifi... but with that parting comes the anxious anticipation of the biopsy but I'm prepared to face it, especially with my family and close pals behind me... a follow-up is due early Sep. Wish me luck, folks!

26 August I'll get to attend seminar by Ust Dr Asri and Ust Dr Juanda, also great speakers from across the causeway.

29 August, a good friend from Bangkok will be in town and I'm looking forward to catch up with her after so long...

Come 31 August, a colleague will say goodbye to singlehood and hello to married life. I'm just glad I could be part of the celebration (and pick up tips to a great yet simple wedding).

Stay tuned for more interesting posts ahead...

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

Choice Theory... I rest my case :P

The last few weeks' observation brought home the point that we are ultimately accountable for our own behaviour. And I stumbled upon this interesting read - Choice Theory

How apt... Aunt Rose used to tell me, if you can't beat them, join them... but instinctively, I don't want to stoop to a level which I personally feel lacks accountability. You don't jump into the deep end just because everyone else does so, do you? On the contrary, you do what you can, to the best of your ability and within the parameters of your control and failing which i.e. if things are back to square one, what do you do?

Its so much easier to jump ship coz some people are undeserving or unworthy of your dedication to work, your integrity to giving the best and professionalism in ensuring quality work gets done within timeframe and budget. Coz the more you stay on to seemingly steer the ship and brave the wind, you are in an unhealthy environment that will reel you in and eat you up ultimately... I admit, that was a rant (sorry, folks). All I can say is the ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy... Have faith and things will turn out fine...

Against the wind, older, but no wiser.
I still find myself inextricably running against the wind.
Whilst it could have been easier rowing with the tide.
Something within me beckons! "Do it otherwise! "
Defying instincts, & rejecting the norms.
Living my Life on its edge, I refuse to conform.
Perhaps one day when my time is done.
Laid down to oblivion, my life has just begun!

Poem inspired from Takalah Tan

Sunday, May 20, 2007

What a week!

140507:
Mum informed me dad will be back in Singapore after an ordeal in Indonesia. A part of me was glad and hopeful that he had changed for the better. A part of me was sad to find out what he went through the past few years. There was a tinge of suspicion yet a voice whispered forgiveness… Perhaps this is the much needed closure on this episode a man called ‘dad’… Oh God, guide me to the straight path and protect me from hell’s fire.

150507:
The 3 hour gathering was compact with catching up on each other’s lives - V’s second baby girl is due this September (let’s go for 13th), Paul got married this year as planned; Spens to walk down the aisle next (good luck!), Y’s new job seems to bode well for her current married lifestyle. Talk of sideline business came up again… interesting conversation. Spoke to a dear friend in between dinner and dessert; glad mum is doing ok.

160507:
Went back to check on the lil tyke – Irfan…wonder if there is a way to put it tactfully across to his mum not to take food she is allergic to… looking at the eczema on poor Irfan enraged me…I know he is not my child but could you bear seeing the poor tyke itching and not knowing how to communicate the discomfort to people around him? For God’s sake, he’s a baby.

Imagine your hands being tied, your mouth gagged and itch powder poured all over your body - you have no way to scratch or yell out to someone to help you get rid of the itch. Suffering in silence is something no one condones right? I rest my case…

At the end of the day, it boils down to mindfulness… Save the debate about different living standards and definition of hygiene… Any mother would want to protect, nurture and bring up her child in the safest environment possible… that’s what we call motherly instincts.

180507:
Tender closes today and I could already envision the busy months ahead once the project kickstarts end June... So now is the time to really hang loose and de-stress as much as I can... Seeing the way things took a turn this week, all I can say is "Expect the unexpected"... Somehow that seems like an understatement... vibes, folks. Oh how I love it that God loves me so much! Amen...

190507:
NLB’s inaugural Sports Carnival in the morning. Verdict = interesting. Saw my HOD in action - she's really good with ping-pong (those smashes!)... And of course my dear Idah playing soccer with the guys...

Met up with Rye to see how he was doing over brunch. “Certainty”… what was that about? Hmm… Anyway, got to rush home to change and head to class. In between, had an interesting conversation with aunt Sophie… learnt a lot from her about 'marital bliss'. Resolved to take up course on child psychology…

PS: What a week… Grandpa is rather unwell. Stay tuned to find out what will happen in the next Episode on “The Journey back to Batu Pahat”…

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Planet Earth...


A variety of deep emotions tugged at my heart strings as I witnessed the hungry polar bear tries his best to spread his weight evenly on the thin glacial ice (that are melting drastically by the seconds due to global warming) as he searched for food... not a bite in weeks while braving the windy ice storm. It could die in such sad conditions any time soon. Not just the polar bears, even the penguins and walrus are fighting for their livelihood. Read the Ice World documentary brief at http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/animals/planetearth/

And to think that it is men, the 'creature of great intelligence of the highest order' in the animal chain that are doing the greatest damage to planet earth. How much longer could we tolerate seeing the sufferings of others? Do we have to wait till the consequence of our action or lack of it (disrespect for the natural order of the world) hits close to home or directly affects those close to us to make a difference? Imagine if you are the dying polar bear... Is that the state you want to die in? What kind of living conditions do we want our future generation to live in? Imagine the worst from now on.

Prevention is better than cure. There needs to be a united global voice to ensure a conducive living condition for our future generation. You may think that we are powerless as individuals and do not feel the need to make a difference and improve the living conditions of all species on planet earth.

If you feel at a loss as to where to start, there are hundreds of websites with great tips: you can start by seriously reducing, reusing and recyling. Check out:
http://www.wastewatch.org.uk/
http://www.wrap.org.uk/
http://www.recyclenow.com/
http://www.wwf.org.uk/

Get involved. There are small changes we can all make which will make a big difference. And if all else fails, in the words of one man, "if you cannot save planet earth, do not breed.You are not helping human kind one bit! Remember, the planet does not need us like we need it for our livelihood."

PS: The image of the dying polar bear haunts me till this day and I can't help but tear up just thinking of it.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Little Miss "Fifi"

Something was amiss when the scan took awhile to complete.
Guess no one knows your body better than yourself...

The report came back 3 weeks later.
Diagnosis - a 15 x 12 x 7 mm right breast fibroadenoma.
Verdict - Not the end of the world.
If this test is a sign of God's love for me, I accept it with open arms.

Surfed the web to find out as much accurate info about it.
Spoke to my family before making an informed decision.
Will remove it... Will get a referral letter soonest possible.

In such a situation, keep an open mind and think positive.
Everything happens for a reason;
God works in mysterious ways...

I hope by sharing this story, my lady pals will go for screening:
- the painless breast ultrasound (if you are below 35) or
- mammogram (if you are above 35).

If you need more info before investing in a screening, read these:
http://www.singaporecancersociety.org.sg/c_breastcancer.htm#H
http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/understanding-breast-changes
http://www.healthsearches.org/Categories_of_Q&A/Diagnosis/1370.php http://www.youngsurvival.org/young-women-and-bc/survivor-stories/

Early detection could change the outcome of your life.
You live life just this once... Go for it - you have nothing to lose!
Meanwhile, have a good rest on Labour Day :)
Look to your health; and if you have it, praise God and value it next to conscience; for health is the second blessing that we mortals are capable of, a blessing money can't buy. - Izaak Walton

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

the M word...

"You start with the ingredients for a highly compatible, successful relationship, and then you work to develop closeness and intimacy. Does this mean you lower your standards when it comes to finding a partner? Absolutely not! It simply means you 'expand your field of vision."

I enjoyed reading the book by Dr Neil Clark Warren and totally agree with his 29 Dimensions... something I wished for at the back of my head; its not about being 'selective' mind you. What a revelation! View the list and make an informed decision yourself:

A. The Screening Dimension:
1. Good character
2. Good self-concept
3. Watch out for red flags
4. Anger management
5. Obstreperousness (harsh, unappreciative, difficult, etc)
6. Understandings about family
7. Good family background

B. Core Personal Dimensions
8. Intellect
9. Similar energy levels
10. Similar spirituality
11. Similar education levels
12. Appearance
13. Sense of humour
14. Mood management
15. Traditional vs Nontraditional personalities
16. Ambition
17. Sexual passion
18. Artistic passion
19. Good values
20. Industrious
21. Curiosity
22. Vitality and security
23. Autonomy vs closeness

C. Skills that can be developed
24. Communication
25. Conflict resolution
26. Sociability

D. Qualities that can be developed
27. Adaptability
28. Kindness
29. Dominance vs submissiveness

Above it all, there must be chemistry and commitment, the glue that keeps it all together.

Seven checkpoints to ask yourself before you make that plunge:
1. Take plenty of time to evaluate your relationship
2. Make sure you are the right age
3. Beware of being over-eager
4. Make yourself happy (above everyone else)
5. Make sure you have a broad spectrum of experiences before marriage
6. Make sure your expectations are realistic before saying "I do"
7. Address any character issues, behavioural problems or personality quirks

A wedding vow is a lifelong pledge to love someone unconditionally (its not easy to love someone, sometimes its tougher to like your partner at certain moments but you still regard your other half as a person of great worth and value), honor someone (treat your partner with respect even when he/she is different from you.. you honor the words and the eye contact with your attention and actions, saying "You are important to me"), cherish someone (treat your partner withh tender affection even under circumstances that aren't easy as it requires self-sacrifice; setting aside your own desires/needs at that moment to better meet the needs of your partner), forsake all others (not something I would reckon but in essence, it means treating your partner as important in your life enough to not play around with voices calling to you from outside the relationship or compromising impulses within you i.e. your partner can have deep and total trust in you), perform all duties (providing physical and emotional protection; all-nurturing relationship at all levels) and most importantly, under every kind of circumstances as long as we both shall live (in plenty and in want, in joy and sorrow; in sickness and in health...)

Friday, February 16, 2007

Squash, Anyone?


My Chief Exec (CE) emailed this across to us today.
Creative, don't you think? :)

Here's wishing you and your loved ones
A year of good health, blissful joy,
peaceful serenity & bountiful prosperity.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

What if...

I did a quick personality test and here's the findings; be the judge and see if it is a true reflection of the 'ME' you know:

1.0 TAKING CARE OF OTHERS AND TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF

1.1 Words that describe you:
Fair, considerate, collaborative, responsive, sensible, diplomatic, contemplative, indulgent and rational

1.2 General description:
You are important. So are other people, especially if they are in trouble. You have a tender heart, but you know how to establish and keep personal boundaries. You are empathetic and compassionate, but you also believe that it's best if people solve their own problems and learn to take care of themselves, if they are able.You are deeply moved by the needs of others, but you know that if you don't take good care of yourself, you'll wind up being of no use to anyone. So yours is a thoughtful compassion.

You strive to be fair and sensible, taking care of others while also taking care of yourself.When someone really is in trouble, you like to collaborate with them toward a solution; they do their part, you do yours. You consider carefully, and respond in a sensible way; they do their part, and together you move through the difficulty. You seldom act impulsively; rather, when a problem arises, you take your time to think through the situation. This contemplative quality usually means that you'll arrive at a diplomatic solution, one that's fair for the other person and also fair to you. It's frequently a win/win situation.

2.0 CURIOUS

2.1 Words that describe you:
Original, inventive, thinker, brave, eccentric, avant-garde, out-of-touch, unique

2.2 General description:
You think like an artist. Or better, you SEE like an artist. While most people look at life's straight lines, its height and depth and width, you're bending the lines with your imagination and turning black and white into shades of blue and yellow. And in conversations at work or with your friends you want to ask, "Do you see what I see?" A few might, most don't, but you've piqued everyone's curiosity with your own original and inventive ways of thinking.

You can, if you must, think in conventional ways. But left on your own, you'll usually opt for the eccentric or avant-garde; in fact you're usually bored with what everyone else is comfortable with. You learn from reading, talking, watching people and other fauna and flora, and simply sitting in the soft chair of your mind and wondering how people would learn how to count if they could only use uneven numbers. You are out in front of conventional ideas, bravely originally defining true and false, right and wrong, the good, the bad and the ugly.

3.0 VERY RESPONSIVE

3.1 Words that describe you:
Emotional, insightful, perceptive, sensitive, self-conscious

3.2 General description:
Each one of us encounters some hard times; we get caught off guard, or feel a sudden swell of emotion, whether from fear, joy, anger or sadness. Life is just like this sometimes. You know that because you are an emotional person. Some people go to great lengths to keep their emotions under wraps, to keep a stiff upper lip, to not let others know what emotions they are feeling. But that is not you. You embrace all of life's emotions, both the joys and the turmoil that life brings our way.

When you're having fun with a group of friends you don't even try to contain your pleasure; you laugh hard and feel every moment of the conversation because of the joy that comes from the experience. You make very intense friendships; ones where all of the depth of emotions that you feel can be shared. Emotions are such an essential part of your everyday life. You may cry at intense movies or when watching a sad story on the evening news. You get angry, at others or at yourself, and you do not stifle it.

Emotions drive your personality and your relationships - you simply are what you feel. You experience both the highs and the lows more profoundly than most. And you usually relish the intensity of your emotions. For sure you enjoy the positive times. There are those times, though, when your feelings get the best of you and you wonder how you will manage the moment. But because you are so in tune with all of your emotions you will experience something very pleasant and will be able to engage with that positive feeling to again enjoy the wonderful intensity that life brings you.

4.0 FOCUSED

4.1 Words that describe you:
Deliberate, careful, regimented, determined, proactive, obliged, methodical, perfectionist, purposeful

4.2 General description:
Everybody knows they can count on you to do what you promise to do, be where you say you'll be "on time" and finish what you start. If you say you'll chair the committee, you'll come with an agenda and a clear outline of the tasks to be accomplished, give everyone a chance to speak their minds, and then call for a vote on each issue, schedule the next meeting, hand out assignments and adjourn at the appointed time. You like order and discipline, and use these to methodically accomplish whatever goals you have set for yourself and for others. And you have a strong sense of obligation if you accept responsibility, you are proactive; you take it on with a single-minded commitment, as if you've pledged your allegiance to the assigned task. People know that they can depend on you.

Your personal life is also one of order and discipline. You are likely to have a pretty firm schedule, and to stick to it. You make time for your friends, but not at the expense of your work duties. You can be talkative and funny in social situations, but seldom out of control. In fact, you are pretty careful; you seldom, if ever, cross the line into impulsive behavior, and you are even careful to control how much of your inner world you disclose, even to your close friends. You keep yourself in check because you don't want whatever mess might be inside you to leak out into conversation or make a mess of a relationship. There are things to accomplish in life, both at work and in your social world, and you don't want to let unnecessary clutter hamper your drive to get all of it done, and done well.

5.0 SOMETIMES OUTGOING, SOMETIMES RESERVED

5.1 Words that describe you:
Moderate, amiable, laid-back, temperate, relaxed, poised, civil, uncommitted, pleasant

5.2 General description:
Lucky you! You enjoy your own company as much as you enjoy the company of others. You are a great conversationalist and thrive in the wonderful kinds of connections you know how to have with your family and friends. You also equally enjoy your own company, whether sitting in a favorite chair with your book and soft music playing or meandering in the woods by yourself. You like coming home to your family or your roommate; but if no one is home, you find quiet, solitary time to be just as pleasurable. What a great combination to enjoy being outgoing and to be just as comfortable being reserved.

Because you are so amiable and relaxed, you are comfortable with almost any group of family or friends. Whether they are pumped up and lively or calm and subdued, you remain at ease. If someone needs to take over the conversation, you are comfortable taking the lead; you can also lay back and let someone else be in charge. If the conversation gets rowdy, your moderate demeanor will often draw it down to a more temperate level. If someone in the group loses their cool, you will most likely maintain your poise, and if they get nasty you know how to keep a civil tongue.

You may find yourself out of balance on occasion. If you're alone too much, you may need to get in touch with someone. If you spend too much time with your family and friends, you may need to sneak off for a day by yourself, to putter and read and clear your head of the noise of too much conversation. When you're at your best, you live with a rhythm of time with others, time alone, time with others, time alone It's a satisfying, comfortable balance. Lucky you!

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Where there is love there is life...

Hatred ever kills, love never dies. Such is the vast difference between the two. What is obtained by love is retained for all time. What is obtained by hatred proves a burden in reality for it increases hatred. - Mahatma Gandhi

Finally, Its Over!

The freedom to be your best means nothing unless you are willing to do your best. So wherever you go, go with all your heart. To have striven, to have made the effort, to have been true to certain ideals - this alone is worth the struggle. - Collin Powell, Confucius & Sir William Osler.


What I learnt @SHRI was that staying focused is essential for any project to be completed on time - there's time for fun and there's time for serious work, especially since most of us have commitments besides class (some have family matters to attend to, some just starting out on a new job, some looking for a job, some have other classes to attend to besides SHRI), yet we still have to keep to project timelines set by the lecturers...

I instinctively knew that some of my classmates either 'love to hate me' or simply 'fear' me for the consistent dedication I put into every project assignment... to the point they feel pressured to keep up with my expectations or standards...

Now, this is something I never expect from them, simply because each of us signed up for the course for diverse reasons - some just want to pass each module to get the much needed cert, others just wanted to see if there are greater opportunities by exploring this aspect of HR. For me, it was to learn as much and gain the necessary knowledge and skills as I see this as an extension of my instructional design role. With this in mind, I push myself to absorb and contribute as much.

I hope my dear classmates will reflect on the learning curve we went through together and appreciate the team work we had, given the situations we were in. Outside of class, I am of course not the 'serious' person I am in class; my RMIT alumni mates could testify to that (hmm, think its time for another reunion, eh?)

So what's next?, Dannie asked... I was dumbfounded for a split second (suddenly, I recall grams telling me.. to take it slow, settle down.. right) All I know, at least for now, is to finish up my masters and plan for my phD; I shall not comment about matters of the heart as I have time and again resolve to leave this to 'act of God'. In the words of Brad Pitt in "Meet Joe Black", "It'll come to us" and only God knows who is the 'best fit' for me :)

Anyway, immediately after submitting my final assignment, I went straight to see my guy whom I have 'neglected' for the past 3 weeks...he's 4 months now!

PS: Happy belated b'day to Rye... it was nice catching up with you last week over celery+apple juice, yum! And my heartfelt thanks to Arnold, Irene & Nelson...I learnt a lot from you.

Friday, January 26, 2007

Tests are GOD's way of loving you...

I can't wait to get my hands on Dear John. It's been awhile since I picked up a good novel. With my last module endling late Feb, its time to put aside all those HRD/Management books and turn to some leisure reading. God! I really miss those days... and those stress-free days when I scuba dive, which reminds me I should get my wetsuit back any time soon now (Ms A, you copy that?).

Work has been crazy; when I mean crazy, its probably an understatement. What do you say of a gal who works 12-hour shifts, literally 7 days a week in a super-duper cold enivronment (on rainy days, I wore thermal, no kidding!), managing 7 elearning projects concurrently + diligently going to classes on Mon, Tue, Fri and Saturday nights? Off late, sleeping at wee hours seems like a habit. Some people say I'm crazy; I may just start to believe them... no, not just yet!

I feel tired like the energy is being sapped off my skin and bones (that's right, you heard me right 'no meat'.. ok that was a vent!) and I look the part. Went to see my nice GP and he said I'm experiencing 'burnout' and have contraction headache (aka migraine and when was the last time I had that? NEVER!) Geez... those people who says public service is easy life ought to be shot. Have they been in public service lately? Its really tuff work especially since where I am currently working is project centric in structure.

On a positive note, I've had great reviews on my assignments... looking at the grades really made my day. My team expects that of me but seriously, I am learning just like everyone else. And it just spur me further to really save up to further my studies and make me, above everyone else, fulfilled.

In retrospect, looking at the first set of courseware that will be launched soon, it instilled within me a deeper sense of confidence... that I am good in what I do and that I am passionate in what I believe in and people see that. To have your work acknowledged by people in the industry (rather than your boss) is such a joy.

Let me end this post by saying that I can never understand how some people can live on this earth by skiving, deflecting the issues when decisions need to be made and then shamelessly accepting the credits when most of the work is done by someone else. They lost my respect even if its all in a day's work. Such things make me really mad and its not pleasant when I'm mad.

As they say, you are truly tested because GOD loves you and knows how much tribulations you can handle with dignity... sometimes I just wished GOD doesn't trust me so much (ok ignore that last bit!) Amen, thank the Lord for loving me ;-)

Sunday, January 21, 2007

My Handsome Guy @3months


Mum called to say the little guy is back home, yay! I purposefully went over to Simei after work just to see 'my guy' and judiciously took snapshots of him at 3 months, in stark nudity nonetheless. But of course being the great aunt that I am, I won't publish that here... duh! Will do it when he is bigger and knows the meaning of 'blackmail'... wicked! ;P

I have to mention that of late, I have been corresponding with my dearest cousin who is pursuing her phD dream down under... strange sometimes how distance brought us closer. And I'm thankful to have Ms S (my soon to be cousin-in-law, yay!) there to take care of W.

Be tuff cousin W, the journey has just begun and its normal to feel a tad home-sick; embrace it because when you reach the end of the journey and look back at all the sacrifices you've made, it will make your union with your loved ones more worthwhile.

Monday, December 25, 2006

Missing 2-month Old Irfan


This picture was taken of Irfan before he leaves for Trengganu, a day after he turned 2 months. He will be celebrating Idul-Adha with his maternal grandma and be back in Singapore first week of 2007. I pray that the village he is putting up is not affected by the rampant floods in Malaysia. Miss you, young guy!

Did you know:
An infant at 2 months, are still not able to see colours but he is able to identify familiar voices and react but coo-ing. I also read that

PS: Happy birthday Aunt B...

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Eulogy for Nan...

What broke my heart was that nan missed me and that I was 24 hours too late... God works in mysterious ways... Only when nan is gone did I truly knew the depths of my love for her... Till today, the final kiss on her forehead is embedded in my mind...
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off. I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,in secret, between the shadow and the soul. I love you as the plant that never bloomsbut carries in itself the light of hidden flowers; Thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride; So I love you because I know no other way in which there is no I or you. So intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand. So intimate that when you fall asleep it is my eyes that close

- Pablo Neruda

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

The Design of Everyday Things - Great Stuff!

Met Rye @NLB for this session by Dick Powell and Richard Seymour. Was not expecting a great turnout - the room was packed with design students! Good stuff nonetheless especially some of the examples to illustrate good design.

In retrospect, I can't stress enough the importance of design by empathy, at least from an instructional design standpoint i.e. empathise with the personas of the product you are designing for. And its great to know that Design Singapore is set up to advocate a similar principle.

Let me end this blog by sharing this interesting article, "Bringing Your Personas Life" as well as an interview transcript between Maish and Don Norman. Enjoy!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Gurteen @Knowledge Cafe!

Suddenly KM is abuzz again; Must be due to the Learning Festival and the fact that KM Asia was on between 7 and 9 November. Had the privilege to meet David Gurteen... interesting lad! Unfortunately, was busy with organising the event to really reap the full benefits of his session. Judging from the happy sheet, it was great that everyone enjoyed the informal session and would request for more. Click here for some pictures from the session.

Btw, thanks to Maish, here is an interesting read on Innovation in Networks. Enjoy!

Sbarcea - The KM Lady!

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” - Mahatma Gandhi

Thanks to Patrick Lambe, I had the privilege to meet Ms Kim Sbarcea from Thinking Shift yesterday over a KM session entitled "Establishing CoPs".

She is one of Asia Pacific's most experienced KM practitioners and has worked in KM roles in the legal and accounting industry before her current role at ASIC. She is currently best known for her work in building communities of practice and regularly advises organisations on this.

What I took away from the session was:
  • How to identify and work with informal networks in the organisation
  • The process of implementing CoPs (SOAP - Strategy on a Paper)
  • The pitfalls, challenges and benefits of CoPs

An interesting new 'toy' a.k.a. tool I learnt was the Social Network Analysis (SNA) - the mapping and measuring of relationships and flows between people, groups, organizations, animals, computers or other information/knowledge processing entities.

These key learning points reinforced my understanding of Peter Senge's Learning Organisation concept as well as Michael Marquardt's 16 Steps into Becoming a Learning Organisation.

And this is essential info, folks, especially in an era where change is a constant. So it all ties nicely with John P. Kotter's philosophy. In his book, "Leading Change", he outlined the critical steps to successfully lead change in your organisation. My recommendation is to read the insightful reviews of the book before rushing to the bookstore or library... good stuff!

Sunday, November 05, 2006

An Intelligent Conversation...

Now this is one guy I would love to chat, pick his brain, etc. Not only is he talented, he is uber intelligent. From his biodata, he comes across as one with the sheer determination to excel in life.

And for a 28 year old, he is indeed a visionary guy who knows where his heart is and let's his brain do the talking...

I respect the fact that he takes the welfare of his siblings at heart, expanding the business for the sake of his siblings' future is a heart-warming afterthought.

In retrospect, its indeed rare to have a well-traveled Malay guy, what more a good-looking Malaysian to be this successful... Good on you, lad! View more of his pictures here.

For his noble attributes and sense of relentless giving, may Allah bestow him with a wife and family that he very well deserves... Speaking of which, here's a snapshot of his new wife :)

PS: To similar 30-something lads out there who has an entrepreneurial spirit and a strong believe in his faith, leave a comment please... ;)

Irfan @1month...

Every baby is a God-sent blessing from above, who comes into this world with a purpose that would unravel in time...

Couldn't help but share these adorable pictures of baby Irfan at 1 month. He has gained much weight since birth... Just feeding him gives me a sense of quiet bliss... ok that must be my maternal instincts on an overdrive, ha! Enjoy the pics...

FYI: I've been told that newborn babies change their skin pretty frequently... one thing's for sure, Irfan will be a handsome lad...

A Fruitful Life...

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these.
- George Washington Carve
231006:
Can I not go to work? So much spring-cleaning to do and to complete my assignment and presentation before end of module... Ok that was a vent btw... I wish I could do more for my faith but looking at the schedule, I pray that GOD forgives me for my less-than-brilliant conduct this month...sheesh.

291006:
Happy birthday to Dayat (cousin's hubby) and for making history in getting us lost in transition from Tampinese to Sembawang and for being unable to cut the frozen cheesecake ha! It was fun spending perhaps the first and last raya with the family from Kluang/Kedah as my cousin will be leaving for Australia National University to pursue her 3-year PhD... I'll definitely pay you a visit @Canberra sweetie :)

301006:
NLB Academy launch went without any glitch, thank GOD! I have to thank my dear friend, Ryan for his willingness and patience in crafting the flash demo for the website's launch.

Also today marks a special day - my dive buddy got married and sadly, I missed her banquet due to the Learning Festival hustle and bustle...

311006:
Happy birthday to dear Inez who is currently busy being an entrepreneur and MIA-ing. Miss you...Also today marks a special occassion where NLBA launched its Trainer & Facilitator Community of Practice (CoP)... What a way to officially close NLB Learning Festival.

021106:
Happy birthday to dear Luke who turned 28 on this special day. May you be blessed with great things in life... and that your mum recuperates from colon cancer and your nephew is free from the terrifying illness...

031106:
Irfan just turned one month and is gaining weight and his aunt (that's me!) is looking forward to driving him around for the festive season. It'll be loads of fun.

061106 to 071106:
Looking forward to the staff orientation that is long overdue, hmm...

081106:
A bundle of nerves, awaiting in anticipation of the feedback from my boss on my PMP mid-year review... hope I did him proud...

091106:
The next eClinic is due and I hope we can finalise the content before vendor engagement. I'm looking forward to working with the vendors on the elearning project. And the satisfaction of crafting the requirements and standards in setting the precedence for the entire organisation to adopt is gratifying...

141106:
My next module will start and I'll be back in class... persevere Azzah.. just 2 more modules and you are done! Yippee... Then up one notch ... Masters then PhD, God-willing!

So stay tuned when Azzah finds time to catch her breath and Rye, I didn't forget our dinner outing, owe you one! ;P

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Muhd Anis Irfan 031006

I interrupt this session to bring you a news bulletin - After 3 false alarms, on 3 Oct 2006, a baby boy, Muhd Hanis Irfan, came into this world close to midnight. Weighing at 29.3 kg, with a height of 50 cm and a head circumference of 33 cm, he is an angel! Cradling this adorable tyke who was sleeping soundly (and who happens to resemble his mum... good looking!), I only have great wishes for him...


May he be, as his name suggests - A praiseworthy companion whose heart is filled with thankfulness for God's gift of life. And may his life be filled with richness of love and knowledge. Amen!

Special thanks to Dr J and his team @KK Women's hospital for taking good care of mother and child...We are eternally indebted.

Sunday, September 03, 2006

Analogy...

There are things I'd like to say to you on your special day... I am forever thankful God sent you my way. Like a gift from up above, you showed me how it is to feel real love... unconditional love. I know many mountains we've had to climb and sometimes forever has seemed like a very long time... never devoid of misunderstandings; we are only human... and sometimes I wish you open up to me more, let me in to share your burden, instead of facing the tribulations of life alone. Yes, we've endured our share of pain, but together we have so much to gain. Bigger mountains may lie ahead, but together there is no hill we cannot tread. So always remember, and there is nothing together we can not do. I'll be here forever - my love is true. The person beside me, that would be you...


PS: Mama, Happy Birthday [060906].

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Life Blessings

Without faith, nothing is possible. With it, nothing is impossible.

Sometimes when you reach a crossroad and don't know how to move forward, seek solace in the Almighty and he will show you the way that is best for you. So much has happened in the past months and I am thankful that life turns out alright:

Blessings #1:
My heart went out to a cousin who just had a miscarriage which inadvertently was a blessing in disguise because she finally got her PhD posting to Australia and will be there for 2 years while her hubby finishes his housemanship at Sulawesi... Also this incident drew us closer and for that I am thankful...

Blessings #2:
Grandpa is steadily recovering from lymphoma and partly due to this, I got re-acquainted with relatives in Jepara, Java in Indonesia and we are now constantly in touch via email.

Blessings #3:
Sis-in-law's prayers got answered - she finally got her PR status confirmed, which means that its more cost effective to deliver the baby here in Singapore that is due end Sep or early Oct than travel back to Trengganu (not to mention the cost savings enjoyed by PR versus foreigner in terms of hospitalisation fees).

Blessings #4:
I am now in a better place after I left my previous job; I am back doing what I love - instructional design and the added bonus of training excites me. Along the way, I learnt the true value of family love. Thanks to all who stood by me through it all. I'm eternally grateful!

Blessings #5:
The recent forum I attended by Dr Mohd Asri, Dr Juanda and Dr Azwira proved that what I have been learning thus far complies to the Quran and Hadith, Alhamdulillah! The tears and determination was well worth it!

The moral of the story? Never underestimate the power of faith... Have conviction and the complexities of life will unravel its simplicity; just keep an open mind and have patience...

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Ka Kite Ano...

I was telling Daphnie the other day that if she decided to go NZ, take me with her and introduce me to a nice bloke so that I can settle down and live happily ever after... not! Well, I am entitled to some form of wishful thinking eh? ;P

NZ is a dream... from North Island right down to Christchurch... couldn't put it to words how I feel about the place... In retrospect, the wonders of NZ just proves that God is great! Anyway, all I instinctively knew was I wanna live there some day... some say being a tourist and staying there are two different experiences which is why I asked Daphnie about her days there and she said she would return to work there in a heartbeat. I rest my case :)

Although a minority, less than 1% of the total population, the Muslim population in New Zealand is young, energetic and growing. It is estimated that there are approximately 17,000 Muslims in New Zealand representing a wide range of nations including Fiji, Pakistan, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Somalia, Indonesia and Malaysia.

An estimated 63% of New Zealand’s Muslims live in Auckland, but there are also large communities in Wellington, Hamilton, Christchurch and Dunedin. There are currently 9 mosques and Islamic centres, 5 of which are in Auckland. Auckland’s largest mosque is in the suburb of Ranui. The first Islamic school, Al Madinah, is in the Auckland suburb of Mangere. According to a recent report, Al Madinah, which has 350 students, has the lowest school grades in New Zealand.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Equitable Equality?

We the citizens of Singapore,
Pledge ourselves as one united people,
Regardless of race, language or religion,
To build a democratic society
Based on justice and equality
So as to achieve happiness, prosperity
And progress for our nation

A friend forwarded this petition online and requested those with a heart to participate in it. Now, some of you may wonder, will I get into trouble for helping another well-deserved Singaporean? If you have a strong conviction that this is a worthy cause, (and its not criminal to support a petition, eh?) then I urge you to have a say in developing this nation that truly translates our nation's pledge ;)

Ok, am itching to at least drop an afterthought of the recent "General Election" but let that be my lil secret... Can hear most of my well-intentioned pals telling me, "nothing online is safe" ... Major legal issues, folks! All I can say is that I'm glad, Singaporeans alike, want an alternative voice in Parliament and I look forward to the next 4 years (can't wait to see Sylvia in action. You go, girl!) :)

I'd like to however, end this post with a personal observation - majority of the locals seem apathetic to our nation-building; some don't even bother to read current affairs... While the bottom and top echelons are progressively being replaced by expats/foreigners alike, the middle is pressured to continually upgrade or face retrenchment... Can we envision the kind of 'quality life' we are heading towards? Think about it...

The sole end for which mankind are warranted, individually or collectively, in interfering with the liberty of action of any of their number, is self-protection. That the only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilized community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others. His own good, either physical or moral, is not sufficient warrant. He cannot rightfully be compelled to do or forbear because it will be better for him to do so, because it will make him happier, because, in the opinion of others, to do so would be wise, or even right... The only part of the conduct of anyone, for which he is amenable to society, is that which concerns others. In the part which merely concerns himself, his independence is, of right, absolute. Over himself, over his own body and mind, the individual is sovereign - John Stuart Mill

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Dream Chasers...

A loop - its centre woven in a web-like pattern - it is said in the night air there are good dreams and bad. The good dreams go through the web into the one sleeping while the bad dreams become hopelessly tangled in the web, where they perish at the first light of dawn - An American Indian Mythology.

Alas! I got my long-anticipated souvenior from Canada. An interesting piece indeed, 'made specially with you in mind'... right? Heh. Now that you have forgotten a souvenior from Bangkok and Bali, I 'expect' double redemption from Sri Lanka, eh? Are you reading this...? Ain't friendship a lovely thing...? ;P

I must say the massage session was almost like a love-hate relationship - you have to bear the pain and torture first before you reap the benefits of a good blood circulation and sound sleep. It was unfortunate that some masseause was overzealous and poor Rye had to suffer from that, woopsie daisy!

Ok, so I pretty much needed to make up to him for that moment of agony. Met him for lunch and he showed me his 'master piece' for a client. I must say its impressive. And from that simple interaction it made me realised that IKS-ans... have one thing in common - passion and this translates through our work no matter where we end up later. I miss you guys, really! :)

PS: Have a good trip, my dear, and please come back in one piece... kidding!

Tuesdays with Morrie

Life is a series of pulls back and forth. A tension of opposites. So which side wins? Love always wins...

This book is a simple yet splendid read (heart-wrenching too; couldn't hold back the tears in the end...) as it touched the core of you! It teaches me to try and live life with courage, composure, dignity, humor and integrity. When I read the last moments of Morrie's life... I instinctively felt for grams and praised God for the blessed life grams is having now, slowly recuperating from lymphoma... coz that moment could just be grams' instead! (and I wouldn't know how I should react... then).

The truth of the matter is most of us walk around with a meaningless life, almost half-asleep, even when we are busy doing things we think are important, chasing the wrong things (talk about shortsightedness!). The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.

Coz the most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love and let it come in as love is the only rational act. Indeed, you need love when you were born, and when you are at your deathbed but also in between... if only we just let that happened instead of putting a false brave front that we will be ok (maybe its upbringing or the warped culture we live in, hmm so I guess its right to say, "Create your own culture!").

I also learnt an important lesson of detachment - don't cling to things because everything is impermanent. It also means that you let the experience penetrate you fully; That's how you are able to leave it. Profound, eh? But its true; if you don't experience pain fully, how can you identify it the next time that feeling hits you? Denial is a very dangerous state of disillusion (not to mention a cowardly art of escapism, ha!)

Before I end this post, ask yourself:
- Are you at peace with yourself?
- Have you found someone to share your heart with?
- Are you trying to be as human as you can be?
- Are you giving to your community?

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Psycho-Metric Test ha!

O56 - C94 - E70 - A90 - N8 Big 5!! ...Nah this is not my physical statistics, which seems out of whack if you honestly ask me (I'm NORMAL, wait, do I even need to validate that? Geez!) Rather, following up from my post, Stylo Milo, this is my OCEAN Profile from the Big 5 Personality Test ... Try it, click here to discover your profile :)

After doing other personality tests such as MBIT or Human Metrics (INTJ, just for sanity check), I could pretty much figure out what career suits me - one that deals with human capital management with a strong focus in policies ... and did I tell you that I love research work especially in the areas of Human Psychology and Behavioural Studies? Aahhhh... its all coming together, rather nicely if you ask me :)

Btw, I just finished reading "Becoming Real" By Gail Saltz. It is interesting how multiple approaches to counselling/psychology are pulled together providing a wholistic approach to self-help. Most importantly, I finally unravelled my 'story' ... really nice :)

P.S.: Had an early farewell lunch with the folks who are leaving for Bangkok this weekend... Wow, am humbled by your comments about me - woman with integrity, strong dignity, knowledgable, compassionate, considerate ... are you sure you got the right person? Hehe.. thanks guys and keep in touch...

Thursday, April 13, 2006

ROI - Important Stuff!

Today just proved my point - Only visionary leaders understand the importance of ROI. As highlighted by Jane Massy c/o ROI institute this afternoon, most don't understand it (which is a pity, really, at this age?!), hence label ROI as "too hard to do" (ignorance is bliss, eh?) and/or simply refuse to implement change management (let's not rock the boat mentalilty). I hope I will never work for such leaders... Need I say more?

I was privileged to have familiarized myself with Kirkpatrick's Model (view more details here and here) and Phillips' ROI Models during my earlier HRD days and I could follow Jane's arguments without feeling inadequate.

You could also read more about ROI by Jack Phillips. Jane also recommends Knowledge Advisor, a tool used to quantify impact of learning interventions on job performance (note, good stuff is never cheap)

Below are some interesting articles I found as well:
- Decoding value
- Measuring the ROI of elearning
- Five steps for valuing UXD

PS: Gutsy indeed for some people to think that they could master the art of ROI over a short period of time; HRD consultants have taken years to master this (mind you, people in the know could sniff if you are just 'smoking your way through', so don't put yourself in a precarious position and lose all credibility ... Or what's left of it, ha!)

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Art of Voice

Studies show that effective communication is a result of 7% the words you use, 38% tone and pitch of voice and 55% body language but over the phone, the words you use account for only 16% and your voice accounts for 84%! - Experts.

You often hear people spending a huge sum of money on power dressing, personal trainers, face and body spa; The moment they talk on the phone, they are not in control of their voice - they just lost the opportunity of making a positive first impression. A pity, isn't it?

Jess and Vern, thank you for 'bringing the point home' - the need to work on owning our voice. Your genuine sincerity showed in the way you share your knowledge and expertise during the Voice Spa, organized by Art of Voice.

Appreciate your constructive feedback... And I discovered a few things about myself that I was unaware of (talk about 'voice hostages', what a revelation). I had a blast. Hmm, tempted to take up 1-2-3 next :)

For those interested to unlock your hidden voice, you should give it a go as well. You may just pick up broadcasters' tip as well! ;)

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Say Cheese!

Decided to re-read it. Hmm, simple mantras of "Who Moved My Cheese?" (very effective take on life, indeed!):

Change Happens
They keep moving the cheese so it is safer to search in the maze than remain in a cheeseless situation.

Anticipate Change
Get ready for the cheese to move (stay alert, observer and reflect).

Monitor Change
Smell the cheese often so you know when it is getting old (QA with MI!)

Adapt to Change Quickly
The quicker you let go of old cheese, the sooner you can enjoy new cheese as movement in a new direction helps you find new cheese.

Change
Move with the cheese and when you move beyond your fear, you feel free (this is true!).

Enjoy Change
Imagining yourself enjoying new cheese even before you find it leads you to it so savor the adventure and enjoy the taste of new cheese.

Be Ready to Quickly Change & Enjoy It, Again
They keep moving the cheese (talk about change is constant, rite? I know!).

I've used this mantra before during difficult times and resolved that I should never fear change and that I am in control of my own destiny so long as I have faith. I hope you find this info useful as well! ;)

PS: Happy Birthday, CK (1 April) & Grams (5 April)!

Monday, April 03, 2006

In Search of A Vision...

Life is no straight and easy corridor along which we travel free and unhampered, but a maze of passages through which we must seek our way, lost and confused, now and again, checked in a blind alley. But always, if we have faith, a door will open for us, not perhaps one that we ourselves would ever have thought of, but one that will ultimately prove good for us. - A.J. Cronin

Read: Azzah's personal rambling during her moment of weakness (you've been warned!)

With the departure of great talents before me (I've been warned but no... the optimistic ME simply won't listen and wanted to experience 'it' MYSELF... stupidity/naivety/nobility... depends on how you see thing I guess but to me you won't know if you don't try, right? the opportune time has come to self-reflect on what I truly want in my career (versus just a JOB) while I rejuvenate my soul to a well-deserved break.

To go through the daily routine almost to the point of mindlessness without a broader picture in sight is something that I could not fathom. Its an uncomfortable feeling 'living in stagnation' ("where are we heading to?" keeps playing on my mind and it doesn't help that the company has gone through countless rounds of restructuring a.k.a. symptomatic folks!), wondering if 'the extra hours I put in is worth my while'("hey, if time away from family and loved one is not personal, then I don't know what is!" - Erin Brockovich), if whatever I utter will be used against me (out of context)... yada yada yada :(

As you reach a certain phase in your life, you look up to a visionary leader who could excite and motivate you (not that you are not self-driven) to achieve greatness, someone who believes in equal opportunity (no personal biasness, pls) and mutual respect for domain expertise (encourages you to be the movers and shakers) and takes inputs from the ground up (sanity check is being REAL)...

Someone who believes in human capital management (not juts filling the gaps with who ever is available... talk about optimal utlisation) and staff retention (this no staff is indispensable mindset has to go.... as staff leave, so will IPR), takes the time to plan proper KPIs and appraisal systems (going by gut feel/halo effect/unrealistic statistics is unfavourable); a credible leader who is knowledgeable but at times, is not afraid to say, "I don't know either, let's find the solution together" (well, no human being is PERFECT, right?) ... I miss that...

Its pointless 'fighting fire everyday with no permanent solution in sight'. When organizational symptoms that are pointing to the root cause goes on blind ears (and the fact of the matter is most of the long-serviced staff have been griping about it yet nothing is done; major OSD issue!) *sigh*... don't you think you are fighting a losing battle ALONE? Well, you know when its time to pack up and move on and look for like-minded peers ... R.I.P!

A note to the rest:
It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power. - Alan Cohen

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

A Woman's Book of Resilience

A pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an injured life. It is the tear (that results) from the injury of the oyster. The treasure of our being in this world is also produced by an injured life. If we have not been wounded, if we have not been injured, then we will not produce the pearl - S. Hoeller

I chanced upon this new book, The Woman's Book of Resilience - 12 Qualities to Cultivate by Beth Miller PH.D at the library, read the Foreword and fell in love with it!

Let me share the 12 qualities:
01. embrace vulnerability
02. connect with others
03. manage part of the problem
04. get needs met
05. develop special gifts
06. learn to say no
07. transform resentments and practice forgiveness
08. develop humour
09. find new, different and many ways to improve things
10. endure suffering
11. find the meaning of crises
12. stand strong alone ad rely on others

The last point may seem confusing. To be interdependent implies equality, an inner equanimity of both fortitude as well as softness:
>> To a marriage of strength and vulnerability
>> To a union of giving and receiving
>> To being independent when needed and dependent when required
>> To stand firm or insistent and be open or receptive

The resilient woman is strong and vulnerable. It is through the balance of strength and vulnerability, standing still and venturing forward that we draw strength from the upheavals. It is by fostering the inner marriage of stability and change, centered and sensitive that we ready ourselves for the disorderliness of life.

PS: Mum, wished you rely on others more...

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Life Lessons...

A ship in port is safe,
but that is not what ships are for.
Sail out to sea and do new things.

- Admiral Grace Hopper, Computer Pioneer

A note to me:

Zah, open the window to your soul and reflect on the day's happenings... Funny how you gained insights from a mere conversation with a 'foe'. It just shows life complexities or intricacies.

Bottomline, there's always two sides of the coin, it all depends on which side you are on, not to mention whose words you trust - naivety vs idealism, sensitivity vs compassion, overemotional vs intense, weak vs softhearted, rigid vs consistent. It boils down to perspective and the values that navigate your life decisions.

Drained just thinking of what had happened; analytical mind busy at work. However, I am not gonna cry nor sigh but see this as an opportunity to greater things to come for I have a strong conviction in my abilities to swim with the tides... and emerge the stronger survivor.

Sale el amigo o el enemigo; su conciencia señalará por instinto el principio o el extremo de esta semilla de la amistad que acabamos de sembrar. Para en mis oídos usted susurra palabras del estímulo mientras que en mi parte posteriora usted perfora la daga de la desconfianza a través de mi corazón. En el extremo, la honradez pertenece al gutsy pocos que podrían mirarme en los ojos con la convicción mientras que expresaban su o su juicio constructivo. Gracias por hacerme a una persona más fuerte que salga de naviety

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Mindfulness

A landmark work of social psychology that demonstrates a rare capacity both to see what is extraordinary about human events and to envision even more enlivening human possibilities... One simply can't finish this book and see the world in the same way.

Mindlessness is the application of yesterday's business solutions to today's problems. Mindfulness is attunement to today's demands to avoid tomorrow's difficulties.

Never underestimate the power of the mind! And Ellen J Langer, being the great researcher that she is, could make the complex simple (yes KISS is important!); I love the way she presented her findings with concise precision in Mindfulness.

My verdict: A MUST READ. Indeed the mind is "The Lord of Speech" and a state of mindlessness snaps shut our minds and don't let in new signal.

Symptoms of which include:
- Acting from a single perspective (rigid closed off mindset)
- Automatic behaviour from habit (familiarity lulls us into mental laziness)
- Coolidge effect
- Entropy
- Premature cognitive commitments

Improving our mindfulness requires:
- creation of new categories
- openness to new information (vs sensory deprivation)
- awareness of more perspective

While with an eye made quiet by the power of harmony and the deep power of joy, we see into the life of things - Wordsworth

Friday, March 03, 2006

Ordinary Day?

Besides the morning's hiccup (great team spirit, with everyone chipping in trying to help Sid), I must say what a way to end the week!

Here's a list of today's highlights (in random order; not that it matters to anyone but I just feel like SHARING!):
1. A special mention on performance bonus *kerching* ;)
2. A close pal got a real good work opportunity (good on you!)
3. We are expanding the team (variables the way to go)
4. Got a great reading list for 2006 on my pet topic (thanks, Maish!)
5. A 'business associate' got a good news for me (Saturday dinner? Its a date!)
6. Got my assignment results, wohoo! (the late nights paid off)
7. A close pal will be having her baby anytime now (congrats, J!)
8. Cousin Iman will turn 1 month next (another baking session, right?)

Signing off to celebrate... *ladida dida*...

If I have been of service, if I have glimpsed more of the nature and essence of ultimate good, if I am inspired to reach wider horizons of thought and action, if I am at peace with myself, it has been a successful day. - Alex Noble

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Get It?

The biggest obstacle to learning something new is the belief that you already know it.

Thanks, Rye for this loan... Hmm, still prefer the earlier book but hey, you always learn something new, right? Karl Albrecht's "Social Intelligence - The New Science of Success" is an easy read.

In a nutshell, S.I. is the ability to get along with others and to get them to cooperate with you. Being equipped with Nourishing S.I. Type means we are able to reduce conflict, create collaboration, replace bigotry and polarization with understanding and mobilize people towards common goals.

The book provides tips on how to avoid Toxic S.I. Type i.e. people with physiological blindspot such as - Social Halitosis (inconsiderate behaviour with willful disregard for social rights of others), Social Flatulence (lack of respect for accepted norms) and Social Dandruff (a behaviour that imposes one’s interest on others)... Suddenly I am able to attach such labels to some 'toxics' I know, ha!

It also provides helpful tools to develop Nourishing S.I. Type:

1. SPACE Skills - Situational awareness: “Social radar”, Presence: “Social bearing”, Authenticity: “Other’s judgment of us”, Clarity: “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt as words are the structure of thought i.e. verbal map” (adopt ‘Route 350’ & ‘E-Prime’), and Empathy: “State of connectedness” (adopt ‘LEAPS’, “Do unto others as others prefer to be done unto” & “4-Minute Relationship Maintenance”)

2. SPICE Leadership - Skills, Procedure, Information, Consensus and Empathy (hot stuff!)

3. Art of Negotiation - Avoid argument as arguing is a self-reinforcing habit pattern, set up crucial conversation (BATNA) & adopt the 5-step value added negotiation

From a corporate angle, I learnt how to identify 17 patterns of corporate disorder or degradation(you may spot one or some in your company? Yikes!):
1. Attention Deficit Discorder
2. Anarchy
3. Anemia
4. Caste System
5. Civil War
6. Despotism
7. Fat, Dumb & Happy
8. General Depression
9. Geriatric Leadership
10. The Looney CEO
11. Malorganization i.e. Structural Arthritis
12. The Monopoly Mentality
13. The One-Man Band
14. The Rat Race
15. Silos
16. Testosterone
17. The Welfare State

From a personal angle, I can use S.I. to develop and maintain a meaningful relationship as it seems that the simplest things, when ignored would accummulate to an unwanted (not to mention, sad) ending. As the saying by Edna St Vincent Millay goes, “Tis not love’s going hurt my days, but that it went in little ways”.

Quotes I love from the book are:
“Any strength when taken to an unreasonable extreme can become a weakness. So deploy one’s strengths with a sense of strategy and understanding of the tradeoffs involved.” (Afterthought: This I found to be true so moral of the story is to keep things in moderation and before you leap forward, assess the situation; can't say enough about Strategy, Strategy & Strategy!)

“A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still” – William Blake (Afterthought: I especially agree that there is no point arguing with toxics whose personal agenda is to impose their interests on you; for some its like an endless power play... hmm)

“The best captain does not plunge headlong nor the best soldier a fellow hot to fight. The greatest victor wins without the battle” – Lau Tzu (Afterthought: Its true that before you 'jump to conclusion' investigate FIRST and seek room for negotiation)

There was a special mention on Hofstede's work where cultural background also plays a part in one's S.I. level.

Other interesting read include EQ & MI.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

150306 PM



Pat Metheny is one legend I've grown up with (he is the reason I go ga-ga over guys whose adept at guitarwork - 12 strings, no kidding!). My love for Jazz is attributed to this talented guy! (what can I say, I have a thing for charismatic silent type, and he's a Leo too!)

Do you know he is also the reason why kids my age back then found me 'wierd' for idolising "the guy with messy hair"; they could not understand the magic I saw in him, more so his work... Hmm, I just realised early on in my childhood, at the tender age of 5 at that, I've started displaying traits of a girl with strong views and individuality ;P

Anyway, view some clips and read more about the artist who is coming to town. Can't wait to hear all about it from Rye.

PS: Happy Birthday, aunt Sofie!

Monday, February 20, 2006

Duty With Honor

My will shall shape the future. Whether I fail or succeed shall be no man's doing but my own. I am the force; I can clear any obstacle before me or I can be lost in the maze. My choice; my responsibility; win or lose, only I hold the key to my destiny. - Elaine Maxwell

After a brief chat with close pals (thank you for your care, love & support!), I am reminded of John D Rockefeller Junior's quote - "Think of giving not as a duty but as a privilege." Indeed, no matter how busy I am, I am tireless. The joy of spending time with those I love, even if it means little time for I, ME, & MYSELF, is irreplaceable.

Yes, at times I feel vulnerable, overwhelmed, almost helpless but isn't that a natural humanly instinct in response to life ramification? Someone once told me, "Step back, take a deep breath, assess the situation and prioritise; that would keep you sane." (thanks, LG). Stay focused on the purpose of your existence, zah!

In retrospect, after reading and watching the life of the late S Rajaratnam over the weekend, my life seems ordinary, almost insignificant (he has my deepest respect and admiration!). Moral of the story is - time is precious and what you do with it for the benefit of the majority - is what matters. I end this blog with a nice quote:

A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the "why" for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any "how". - Victor Frankl

Friday, February 17, 2006

A Special Talent

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours. - Henry David Thoreau

Today, I am feeling torn yet am so glad for this special talent as he is finally moving on in the direction of his passion. There's no one quite like him. No words could express how I feel so I shall stop here (as it is, the rainy weather has spoken on my behalf). Storm, I'll miss cuddly you...

With that, here's a tribute to my dear friend (you know who you are):
Le cher ami, dans si peu d'heure que je vous ai connu, une amitié plus profonde naît. Maintenant, vous serez des milles de distance. Si on avance avec confiance dans la direction de ses rêves, et d'efforts de vivre la vie où il a imaginée, il rencontrera un succès inattendu en heures communes. Par conséquent, ce n'est pas un triste au revoir, mais vous voit bientôt car je choisis de croire que nos chemins croiseront encore un certain jour. Salut et tout le meilleur. Vous serez manqué.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Nitta Sayuri

Our world is no more permanent than a wave rising on the ocean. Whatever our struggles and triumphs, however we may suffer them, all too soon they bleed into a wash, just like watery ink on paper.

After reading MOAG yet again, it revived my novice knowledge of Japanese culture during my 'study Japanese' days, which seemed decades ago.

Japan is indeed a place steep in culture; there's a ceremony for all occassion:
- when a geisha 'adopts' an apprentice geisha (tea ceremony)
- when a geisha offers her mizuage (serve ekubo to the selected men)
- when the victor of the mizuage bidding is announced (tea ceremony)
- when an apprentice geisha accepts a danna/sugar daddy (tea ceremony)

Do you know that there are many layers to a kimono? It includes koshimaki (hip wrap), undershirt (camisole), paddings, underrobe (ro during hot weather, hitoe during cold weather), silk collar sewn on to the kimono, kimono, obi (sash), tabi (socks)

Also, you can spot an apprentice geisha easily. She has a momoware hairstyle (its suggestive: split peach with red in the middle??!), a red silk collar (vs white by a geisha) with a colourful kimono, a dangling obi (sash) in darari knot at the back (vs drum knot by a geisha). A virgin apprentice geisha, after mizuage (offering virginity) changes her hairstyle by placing a red silk hairband (versus a patterned one) at the base of her bun - interesting visuals!

I did not realise that Japanese men find the neck and throat of a woman erotic, similar to westerners' view of a woman's legs (and I thought the eyes is the windows to your soul, no?)

I end this blog with an interesting quote from the book (can you believe it, I still have not seen the movie!):
I never seek to defeat the man I'm fighting; I seek to defeat his confidence. A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course of victory.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Inamorata...

Precious shared this with me some time back...

Without Love, days are:
"Moanday"
"Tearsday"
"Wasteday"
"Thirstday"
"Frightday"
"Shatterday"
"Sadday"...

So, fall in love! ;P

Afterthought: Am glad most of the guys in the office shared my personal, not to mention, practical view that the current generation has lost the true essence of V Day. It is now no more than a commercial sham that attracts, well, the easily conned, ha! Don't get us wrong... this is not a vent (actually, I don't celebrate V day). Tim quoted that if everyone buys chocs/flowers on this day, how can the recipient be anyone more special than his/her next neighbour? Act of love/sacrifice should be done sincerely everyday... hmmm... lucky wife of his. And what do you know, I got a Roche flower at that! ;P

Monday, February 13, 2006

Crap vs Crab!

Argument is the worst sort of conversation. - Jonathan Swift

Crappy day to begin with but I know that I'm not easily bothered with 'flies buzzing around me'. "Fear is not the natural state of civilized people." Aptly put by Aung San Suu Kyi (this is one woman I have high regards for). And "Rudeness is a weak imitation of strength". Hmmm, that reminds me of another saying, "Rights that do not flow from duty well performed are not worth having." Very true!

Jo was wondering how come I appeared calm in the midst of a 'volcanic eruption'. For one, "there is nothing stronger in the world than gentleness". I learnt that from a dear friend. Sometimes, the most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. In this case, it was the pressure to bring the dough in, not so much of a tardy work. For another, I am glad that Jo stood up for us. Hence, the need for me to say nothing coz what was said was all good. "United we stand, divided we fall, eh?"...

Lucky for me, everyone loved the cookies I made. Also, I had a housewarming party to attend to (time to de-stress!). The cheese crab was yummy (my mind was running through the list of possible ingredients that go into making the award winning crab, hmm time to experiment in the kitchen!). Besides the food, Ryan's home was cozy - a modern resort feel with simple lines; didn't have my camera with me, darn! Oh well, glad he liked the gift. End this blog with a song from U2...

I'm not afraid of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me that I haven't already heard
I'm just trying to find a decent melody
A song that I can sing in my own company...

And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter
Along the stony pass
It's just a moment
This time will pass

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Celebrations

Accept the things to which fate binds you and
Love the people with whom fate brings you together
But do so with all your heart.
- by Marcus Aurelius

Original Sins seems to be THE PLACE for celebrations - anniversaries, birthdays, reunions, etc.

There was a moment of quiet reflection, not that it was awkward; I gazed at the table outside, reminiscing the past. Yes, memories, especially good ones, are meant to be treasured regardless if the outcome led to feelings of hurt (no regrets).

There is no point in 'escapism'; They say, "You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel." At the end of the day, "always look at what you have left instead of what you have lost", right?

Anyway, enough about me! Its Rye's special day; was glad to be a part of it (hmm was hoping to see lil Aria and those beautiful eyes; got a gift for her as well! perhaps next time). To the birthday boy, "Here's a toast your birthday brings. A slew of happy splendid things. With added years of health and love. In richest blessings from above."

I end my blog with the following "Today in History", enjoy:

7 February 1979:
R.E.G.Y is born.
Pink Floyd premiered their live version of "The Wall" in Los Angeles.

7 February 1976:
Toronto Maple Leaf, Darryl Sittler scores NHL record 10 pts (6 goals).

7 February 1964:
The Beatles arrives in New York & Beatle Mania hits Kennedy Airport.

7 February 1855:
Cowboy celebrity Charles Siringo, one of the most famous contemporary chroniclers of the cowboy life, is born in Matagorda County, Texas.

7 February 1775:
Benjamin Franklin publishes “An Imaginary Speech” in defense of American courage.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

In Touch...

Those truly linked don't need correspondence. When they meet again after years apart, their friendship is as true as ever - Deng M.D.

Today, I had the instinctive feeling to talk to Yaz and truth be told, Kin is pregnant; baby is due this July (Yaz's birthday month!). I know how much he wants one, after having two boys. Took the opportunity to ask how he and family are doing? Glad to hear all is fine.

Its been awhile since we kept in touch; what a relief to know that the feelings we have, as friends, are still intact. That is our special bond. Congratulated him on his NY award for the recent Channel News Asia program (ok its not new, it was in 2004 but better late than never, eh).

Afterthought: "Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived. Hmm, suddenly My Best Friend's Wedding soundtrack comes to mind..."

Someday when I'm awfully low
When the world is cold
I feel a glow just thinking of you
And the way you look tonight.

Oh, but you're lovely with your smile so warm
And your cheek so soft
There is nothing for me to love you
And the way you look tonight

With each word your tenderness grows
Tearing my fear apart
And that laugh that wrinkles your nose
touches my foolish heart

Lovely, never ever change
Keep that breathless charr
Won't you please arrange it? 'Cause I love you
Just the way you look tonight...

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Memoirs

My world is forbidden as it is fragile;
Without its mysteries, it cannot survive.
Not free to love, or pursue my own destiny;

Yet never could I forget a moment of unexpected kindness.
A memory that shimmers like a mirage;

A moment that sustains through sufferings...

Reading the book yet again and hope to catch the movie. However, I suspect that movies do not always do justice to the exquisite and magnificent writing of authors such as Arthur Golden...hmm!

To a certain degree, Arthur Golden captured the realism of life (tale of unrequited love, and life struggle) - you don't always get what you want... here comes the realisation that every part of life moments, good and bad, are small pieces of puzzle that completes you.

Life moments teach us to strengthen our resolve, to have patience and keep the faith. "What will happen to us now?" In the words of Brad Pitt in Meet Joe Black, "It'll come to us...". Stay tuned for my verdict of the movie, Memoirs of a Geisha! I'll end this blog with a quote shared by a colleague... aptly said (thanks, SC!):

Success is not final, failure is not fatal;
It is the courage to continue that counts

Wednesday, January 04, 2006

Great Beginnings...

The non-stop downpour did not seem to squash the enthusiasm we (nuclear family) have as we busy ourselves in anticipation of my cousin's wedding the next two weeks. To add to the joyous mood, Gram's RBC has improved (with God's grace, the chemo is working!), Alhamdulillah!

13 Jan 2006 (Friday) : Almost missed the train due for Kluang at 8.30am, peak hour traffic, ha! Called grams to inform her that I have arrived safely around 10.15 am (you know how old folks worry over 'nothing'; actually she was concerned that I was running a slight fever and have not fully recovered from my runny nose). Reached aunt B's place and started 'cracking' on work; Slept at 12.30am. Felt a sense of achievement although my joints and back almost gave way :P

14 Jan 2006 (Saturday) : Up by 5.30am, and with God's will, the sun came out to greet the joyful day. Worked until it was time for the solemnisation ceremony (Grams arrived at the right time!). It was a heart-wrenching moment as tears silently trickled down my face as I recorded (was the delegated amateur video camera-woman; having a steady hand to record the joyous occassion resulted in a stiff neck and back, geez) the rights of my cousin being transferred from her father to her husband...

It must have been hard for anyone who has lived under the wings of her family all her lifetime and then to be 'given away' to a 'stranger' whom she had known for a mere 5 years and from this day onwards; her life is now under her husband's responsibility. It didn't help matters that she is very tight with her parents, being the youngest of 2 children.

15 Jan 2006 (Sunday) : Dejavu - A and younger brother reminded me of my long lost best friend, Yazz... Wonder how is he and family now... What happened to us, you may ask? Its a story that renders another blog of its own! Anyway, today the bride and groom were presented to everyone as the newly weds. It was also a time to meet long lost relatives for a catch up session over buffet lunch.

Now the pressure is really on, "When is your turn?" could be heard everywhere and 'concerned' relatives asked whose next in line (at this point, I was in 'shutdown mode') as cousins and aunts alike were busying themselves discussing about matchmaking me with so and so, etc ... suddenly the trees started looking very interesting as I willed myself to be lost in my own world as I went around capturing happy moments of the happy couple, ha! Uncle Saz sent us home and we reached SG via Tuas Checkpoint by 6pm, did the laundry (amidst gram's nagging, "Go and rest! You got to work tomorrow) ... What a great weekend...

20 Jan 2006 (Friday) : Grandpa sent grams and I to the main road to wait for Uncle B to fetch us around 9am (ain't he the sweetest, man of action hmm!). The coastal ride was hilly and poor cousin Ann vomitted in the car due to motion sickness (I almost joined her). Pittstop to clean up and clear the air... Reached Kuantan around 6pm, checked in and rested. Called grams to tell him we reached our destination safe and sound. Highlight of the day - food, yum!

21 Jan 2006 (Saturday) : Reached the groom's place around 10am, whisked to the waiting area for the arrival of the Sultan of Pahang and his royal family. He came at 1pm, stopped by and spoke to us before heading to his seat. After he left, I explored the mansion with my camera amidst stares and greeting from curious men (guess they are not used to Singaporean women). Highlight of the day - the breathtaking view of the mansion, facing the beach... missed diving (Royalty? Nah...at the end of the day, the Sultan is also human).

22 Jan 2006 (Sunday) : Long drive back home; this time we took a different route via Segamat. Did more pittstops (had lekor, nasi dagang, chendol, mini chocs etc along the way) Even dropped by Kluang for a good rest before heading home. Reached Singapore around 8pm (no jam at Tuas link!)

View more pictures of the happy couple at Kluang & Kuantan!
Marriage is that relation between man and woman in which the independence is equal, the dependence mutual, and the obligation reciprocal - Louis K. Anspacher